I don't think I've ever seen the differences between liberals and conservatives explained any better.... If a conservative doesn't like guns, they don’t buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don’t eat meat. If a liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy their life. If a liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal wants all churches to be silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.
If a conservative unrepentantly becomes pregnant and does not want the child, she arranges to have the child put up for adoption. A liberal seeks an abortion clinic to kill the baby.

'Geezers' are easy to spot: At sporting events, during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner, Old Geezers remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them. ?
Old Geezers remember the Depression, World War II, Pearl Harbor , Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War 1950-55, The Cold War, the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam ..
If you bump into an Old Geezer on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you meet an Old Geezer on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Geezers trust strangers and are courtly to women.. Old Geezers hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection. Old Geezers get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children. Old Geezers have moral courage. They seldom brag unless it's about their grandchildren.
It's the Old Geezers who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.
This country needs Old Geezers with their decent values.
We need them now, more than ever.
Thank God for Old Geezers!

I made a big mistake on Facebook.
I got a Facebook message from a lady that had been very successful on Ultra 90, and I wanted to have a word with her, and maybe make an Ultra 90 commercial out of her story. So, in thinking I was just responding to that one lady, I asked for her phone number. Apparently, if you don’t do that just right, your request can go out to the entire planet.
===========================================================

I got one phone number from an old friend/HS football hero/Univ of Tenn Football Hero/Blue Angel pilot that’s in Japan now.
===========================================================

Then Mary Beth wanted to know why all these women were either asking why I wanted their number, or sending their number to me.
Sharon Johnson- Parham:
"Wonders whom you want to have a word with when My mom use to say that it meant I must've been into some trouble."
Lorraine Lassiter: "Moby you are a married man, I'm not giving you my nuimber. Your wife would kick my butt! And my husband would kick yours!"
=================================================================

Tiffany Ponder Brown: "This is crazy!! Anyone that would even thing about giving their number to anyone is stupid. Love ya Moby but you could be a Killer!" ===========================================================
Then, my nephew in Phoenix chimed in: "Hey Tiffany Ponder Brown...My Uncle Moby is the most level headed, giving, most loving, family oriented - wouldn't hurt a fly person you could ever get to know. He wouldn't hurt anyone and I'd bet every penny I'd make for the rest of my life on that. YEA BABY !!!!! JAMES ( TIGER )"
Linda Yawn Foskey: "Who Me??"
===========================================================

Cindi Tribur Brown "Ok Moby...I'll bite. What's the word? I like that word. Here's my number 404-XXX-XXXX. Since I've met you in person at the Cumming Coountry Fair and, I figure you aren't some maniac. But I figure you did this just to see how many would send you their number. lol.
=================================================================

Tammy Howell "Hi Moby not sure who you were talking to but I would love to get a call from you.. 757-XXX-XXXX.. Yeah Baby :)"
Rochelle sent you a message.
"Ok, so is FB how you typically troll for women's phone numbers?"
"706-XXX-XXXX my name is Paul"
Diane Burkhalter Conway: "I give up...who do you want to talk to?"
===========================================================

Then Linda Yawn Foskey broke the code: "He means JODIE PINION BARNES you goof balls. Go to his Wall page and you can see."

So, to those that kindly, and without suspicion sent their phone number, Thank you, but I probably won’t be calling today.
To those that were just confused by me asking, I’m sorry.
To those that thought I might be a stalker, or an axe murderer, you never know.
To those husbands that thought I might be hittin’ on their wives, As long as you make that woman know you love her, and make her feel like a queen, that could never be a factor, now could it.
So, trust me when I tell you, this wasn’t what I’d planned for today, but I felt like it just made sense to make it today’s Small Town Soap Box.

Hi Moby, I have a comment about yesterdays soap box about God's treasures behind bars. First of all, I am a loyal listener to your show. My radio is always on in the morning at home, my commute to work and in my office at work. You are such an inspiration to me and you make my day. I am not going to stop listening to you just because you read yesterday’s (Tuesday’s) soap box, but please listen to my story, as a victim of a crime. I am a 31 year old mother of 3. From the age of 6-12 I was sexually abused by a family member. Threatened to keep quiet, I was tormented with this pain everyday of my life for these 6 years.

Finally, this creature was caught, only to find out he was doing the same thing to 2 other of my cousins. Thankfully, he is now spending the next 25 years of his life in prison. Do I think he is a treasure of God?? HELL no!! Everyone in prison has either pleaded guilty to a crime they have committed or there has been enough evidence to convict them. I have lived with years of therapy, and constant terror over my life and my children that this will not happen again. Can people change? I'm sure they can, but just because you change that doesn't mean you still don't get the urges to do your bad habits.
People in prison are there for a reason and I don't think they should get second chances. I guess that’s why I'm not God. I just want to be a voice for not only myself but for everyone else who has been the victim of a crime, that maybe can't speak. People that murder, rape, or commit these types of crimes especially to helpless children should, in my opinion, ROT in prison, and they should not be given a second chance in life.

I'm sure you will probably disagree with some if not all of this letter, but I felt I needed to get this off of my chest. Thank you for listening. --

Sincerely,
MEGAN A.

I absolutely understand why you would feel the way you do.
There are many, I'd even say most, prisoners locked away exactly where they should be. Out of sight & out of mind.
Shame of it is, it's so hard to execute so many that richly deserve the supreme punishment society can deliver to them.
I do believe in rehabilitation, forgiveness, and 2nd chances, but some crimes, like what you were made victim of, are to heinous to ever expect to be forgiven for.
God bless you, and give you (and all victims of crime) peace and comfort.
My prayer is that God save, rehabilitate and salvage those that are salvageable, and rid of us those that are not.
Our tax dollars buy the food going down their heartless throats.
MOBY

Yesterday my husband Bob came home from work early. Our yard backs up to a small creek, and since torrential rains have dumped a foot of water in our neighborhood in the past few days, he wanted to get home to check on things. He noticed that water was puddling in the front yard of two of our neighbors, and went to check on them after he'd found nothing amiss at our home. One set of neighbors wasn't home, but the other neighbor was, and he was getting a little bit of water under a sliding glass door. The two men came back to our house to get the big shop vac and by the time they got back, the little trickle of water had become a stream. Bob went to another neighbor's house to borrow another shop vac and in the space of about three or four minutes returned to find that the water had risen to knee-high and our neighbor was trapped inside.

With both of them working on it, they finally got a door open. As the water rose rapidly, Larry and Bob dashed up the driveway to higher ground. If things floated close enough, they would snag what they could: a pair of golf sandals, a plastic case containing barbecue tools, a partial case of bottled water. Other things floated out of reach: the extra leaf from the kitchen table, a separated pair of golf shoes, a cushion off of a chair. The water looked like Yoo Hoo and churned around and through both houses, carrying with it whatever it could.

In our neighborhood, it didn't sweep away any people. In other areas around Atlanta, it did. This morning's news reports that six are dead and many more are missing.
Larry has a lot of friends, and many, like Bob, showed up to see what could be done. One donned some improvised waders made of two plastic garbage bags and a pair of LL Bean muck boots and waded back into his house to get his medications, which had been left behind in his haste to escape the rapidly rising water. One gave him a place to stay for as long as he needs it, another offered his car, since Larry's was in the shop and the rental car was submerged in the garage. A case of Miller Lite was found floating, and that was snagged for Larry, too - his beverage of choice was rescued, at least, which made him laugh out loud when he saw it. To be able to laugh at a time like this is so valuable, so whether the beer is drunk or not, it's rescue served a noble cause.

In the midst of this, the other pair of neighbors returned home and were shocked to see that the tidy house they left yesterday morning was filled with two and a half feet of. The friends and neighbors again started helping: the improvised waders were transferred to the wife and guys started going in to help the couple see what they could salvage, as well as get their needed items out of the house.
Community means a lot on a good day. On a really bad day, you discover what your community - your friends and neighbors - are made of. From what I witnessed yesterday afternoon, Bob and I are blessed with very caring friends. I wish the same for you, and hope your friendships aren't tested in such a drastic way.

 Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark .
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark .
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Dear Moby, I just want to share a little story with you. I made a mistake in my life and ended up in prison. Well, eventually I was able to go to work on a road crew outside the prison and every morning I made my boss and crew listen to your show and I want to thank you for all your kind Christian comments and soap boxes with out those sometimes I would have been lost, & without God I would have been lost. So, thank you.
People don’t know or understand how some prisoners or criminals do change their lives, and society don't always give them a 2nd chance. I am having a hard time finding work now. I just thank God that he works in there as well as out here. Thank you Moby for being a blessing to me and for sharing Christ’s love on the radio like you do.

"Treasures in Prison Cells"

It was late and I was tired, wanting to go to sleep, but God wanted to talk. It was about midnight, but it dawned on me
that God does not sleep. His question made me restless, "where on earth does man keep his most priceless treasures and valuables?"
I said, "Lord, usually treasures like gold, silver, diamonds, and precious jewels are kept locked up somewhere out of sight, usually with guards to keep them under lock and key.
"God spoke," Like these some of my most valuables treasures here on earth are also locked up." I saw Jesus standing in front of thousands of prisons. The Lord said, "These souls have the greatest potential to be used and to bring forth glory to my name. Tell my People that I am going forth this hour to the prisons to activate the gifts and callings that lie dormant in these lives. Tell my people that great treasures are behind these walls, in forgotten vessels. THEY MUST BE RESTORED!!!

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS AND CAN USE IT. LIKE I SAID THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE IN PRISON THEY JUST MADE A MISTAKE AND SOCIETY NEEDS TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE WHEN THEY GET OUT.

JOSHUA A SHINGLETON

When is the spending going to stop? I recently found out about another incentive program that our president has introduced. I'm sure he had good intentions but I would like to share my 2 cents about this free spending of our money. The incentive that I'm referring to is the reimbursement plan for science teachers who have student loans. Mr Obama is paying back loans up to 17,500.00. Nothing against the teachers receiving this money, but if we have that extra money laying around perhaps it should go towards someone a little more needy. How about the farmers who are losing money every year. Especially the dairy farmers who are selling milk at lower prices than recorded in the 70's. I recently spoke with a local dairy farmer who barely made enough money to replant his corn. At this rate, our farms will no longer be in existence. Don't forget where our food comes from. The largest problem I have about repaying student loans, is the lack of monitoring where this money from the loans was spent. College students can qualify for student loans even when not being used for their education. Some students use these to go on spring break. I cannot see using American tax dollars to reimburse these trips. I for one made it through college while working two jobs to pay for my education, no loans. I am proud to say that I have worked for everything I have. As American citizens, I feel it is our responsibility to say stop the spending. This all falls back to "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what can you do for your country"

Ray Freeman Buckhannon
Upshur High School Agriculture Teacher/ FFA Advisor


Thank you, Ray. I hope you don't mind if this becomes one of my Soap Boxes. Good guys, support good guys. I support you, sir. Yeah baby, MOBY

I wouldn't mind at all if you use this as one of your Soap Boxes. Again, I'm not saying that our president is bad himself, just not agreeing with his policies at this moment.

Thanks for listening to my thoughts,
Yeah Baby. Ray Freeman

Dear Mr. Moby I am a 14 years old and I listen to your show everyday, when I am getting ready for school. I am a patriot just like you and I thank you for saluting our troops. Since I started listening to you, I have really started to appreciate the men and women in uniform. I have a cousin who is in the marines and I admire him for what he does. We don’t realize what our troops do for us when all we can do is fuss over what we want. I think it’s about time America stood up and think about what our troops do for us. Before I started listening to you I really didn’t think about our troops. Yet I as I grow, I learn to appreciate them more and more. I thank all American soldiers for what they do and maybe one day I will pick the uniform and do my duty too. Mr. Moby, thank you for everything. God Bless America --

Sincerely,
Allen Tanner
East Dublin
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Dear Allen, Just when I reach a point where I’m ready to shrug my shoulders, throw up my hands, and say I give up, along comes a proud and fine young patriot like you that speaks with the common patriotic sense of someone many years your senior.
Your email makes me realize that the duty of those that think like me is to hold on for reinforcements. They’re coming. They’re right-minded and they’re focused. They are the youth of this great nation depending on us to fight for the eternal flame of liberty that should be blazing in every American heart. Allen, they are you.
Tell your parents for me that your Uncle Moby thinks they’re doing a great job, but it’s you that will be handed the torch very soon, and it’s us that will watch in awe as you set the country on fire with liberty, independence, passion, and patriotism.
The aging and tired can not give up in the face of adversity, because the new generation deserves better, and are depending on us to stay the course.
My prayer is that there are multitudes of Allen Tanners prepared to stand strong when it comes their turn in the trenches to defend the sacred honor of being an American. I apologize to you, son, for ever thinking surrender could be an option. Thank you for the wake-up call. The old quote says, “Child becomes father to the man.”
God bless you and your family, fellow patriot. MOBY

This is a controversial Soap Box, but it comes from my patriotic heart. You wanted “Change”? You got it. How about this fact?
The national flag of Red China is going to fly across the street from the White House on 9/20. This is to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. The devil with ‘em. Can we ever forget Tiananmen Square, and that one brave soul in front of the Chinese tanks? The media will cover that in droves. Google it, it’s really happening in Washington D.C. You gotta admit, that’s change alright.
"On September 25th there will be a national prayer gathering of Muslims on the west front of the U.S. Capitol Building. They’re expecting at least 50,000. They will gather to pray from 4:00 AM until 7:00 PM. That’s change as well, is it not?
Both of these gatherings will garner more network news coverage than the 2 million patriotic Americans pledging their allegiance to our country got last week end. That gathering was overshadowed by Kanye West showing his butt on the MTV awards.
Here’s some change. Let’s gather Christians on either of these same national sites, and have the world’s largest old time prayer meetin’, and dinner on the grounds. Let’s have a national revival that would attract more people than the Muslims or the Chinese combined. Do you think the national media would even acknowledge the gathering of countless God-fearing, Flag waving, country loving American patriots? Certainly not!! My money says, we couldn’t even get the permit for such a gathering.
How unhip, how redneck. How insensitive. How…American!!
The news media has shown by their inattention last weekend, anything that promotes America or traditional American values doesn’t make good copy, and doesn’t warrant coverage. How can they ignore 2 million of us gathered in Washington to scream at the top of their lungs for our country back?
If you’re not frightened, you should be.
Maybe it’s just me.

Hello Sir, I was listening this morning. You were on the phone with either your little girl . The conversation was so honest and sincere when she answered your questions and said " I love you Daddy." Mr. Moby, I have listened to your stories, poems and writings from your heart. You are a true American and I feel that your heart is always there in your hand. I just wanted you to know that you can make blue skies out of storms and bring tears to those of us that love America. Sincerely, John Pewters aka yoyo That was my little Gracie.
I'm happy that our conversation touched you, YoYo.
Yeah baby, MOBY

My Precious Little Girl

Little Gracie you're the sunshine
the blue skies and the breeze,
You're my view of all tomorrow
you put my heart at ease.

When you say, I love you daddy
you give that morning start,
Little Gracie how I love you
you're always in my heart.


You make the birds sing pretty songs
you help with my endeavor,
Little Gracie how I love you
though you won't be young, forever.

God has given more to me
than a diamond or a pearl,
He's given Little Gracie
my precious Little Girl.

John Pewters aka yoyo

Dear Moby,
I wanted to say that after many years as a morning listener , I will no longer tune in on my morning commute to my elementary school where I have worked as a teacher for 20 years. You have made a dreadful mistake in assuming that your listeners fit into a nice neat package of predictible beliefs and attributes. Not all your listeners are white, middle class and have a NASCAR mentality- some just enjoy a laugh and some good country music.
Your comments concerning President Obama were unpatriotic and unpardonable. I teach children who have found hope and a reason to feel a part of the American dream due to this man. They are talking about going to college and having a career and yes, even being president.
Having a husband with three heart conditions and a daughter with a rare blood disorder, I know the terror of the pre- existing condition in regards to health insurance. Our savings has been depleted paying what my state insurance will not, and we live from day to day. Yes, my husband and I work- we both work two jobs to keep our heads above water. I still find a way to buy for my students at Christmas who would have nothing were it not for help from caring people. I trace shoes on paper and head to the store to buy for those who wear shoes we can no longer tape together.
I do this because Jesus said to do it. The majority of his teachings were instructing us to help those less fortunate and do our part. It is our moral responsibility. Try teaching children who are hungry, sick and dirty, needing antibiotics and a good meal - needing to be home in the arms of their mother who can't dare miss a day of work and have no health insurance- these are your listeners, Moby- these ARE your listeners. They are the poor who need a little help to have a fighting chance.
Calm down, your money is not going to be taken. You will be fine. You will simply not get the big breaks you did during the Bush years. The breaks will go to teachers and fire fighters and people like me, who just get by.
I think the phrase "you lie" applies best to President Bush, when he told us we were in immediate danger of the weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq. As we know, they didn't exist- and thousands of innocent people are dead.
So you see, your listeners are not all LIKE you- they just ENJOY you. The humor, the music, the wacky wake up song--- untill you crossed the line.
Take care, Karen



Dear Karen,
I've read your email. I do understand that you've chosen to leave my audience because of our philosophical differences on the current state of affairs in our nation.
Like you, Karen, I practice charity because Jesus would want me to and because I feel it's the right thing for me to do. It's my choice as a Christian and as a decent human being to conduct myself with love and a sense of charity.
Jesus wanted us to be charitable of our own individual free will. Those he opposed wanted to tax the subjects, to take earnings from the citizens and distribute what was rightfully property of those citizens in whichever way they deemed right with no voice of the citizenry involved in the decision. That's not charity. That's not Christianity. That's Socialism.
We're being told the government will force us to be charitable and enforce it by law. That's not independence. That's not liberty. That in no way reflects the goal of our founders.
Charity is not the role of government. Charity is the benefit of love, human kindness & Christian giving.
Socialism is in no way the goal of our founders. However, it does appear to be the goal of our current leaders.
Regarding Bush. We'll never know the horrors we've been spared since 9/11/2001 because of our dedicated, patriotic forces working beyond the glare of publicity,
and far away from the spotlight.
Our future depends on the governments ability to depend on a motivated and patriotic population, not on a population depending on care and benevolence from the government.
The role of government should be to remain out of our lives & wallets whenever possible.
As a Multiple Sclerosis patient, Karen, I certainly understand "pre-existing condition." You don't have a corner on that concern.
Certainly the insurance industry, and health care professionals need to operate for the general welfare of us all. But a government mandated restructuring of the entire health system is absolute lunacy. That's throwing the baby out with the bath water.
That is not the basis of freedom and independence. Is it safe to assume you don't teach history?
All our president, or our would be Emperor and his monarchy, has taught our children is that you don't have to have leadership qualities to be elected a leader. You've only got to be an eloquent speaker with a good PR department.
Karen, that's simply not true.
We disagree, and at least for now, as Americans, we have that right.
I truly hate to see you go from our radio family, Karen. I would hope you reconsider that choice.
I hate it even more for you, to be blinded by a government that, if left unchecked and unchallenged, will be our provider, our babysitter, and as such be our keepers, and rulers.
I'm terrified for our children's future, and I'll not change my opinion simply because it differs from yours.
You take care, and God bless you through all the challenges you good people are having to withstand.
MOBY

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away.
I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress; lawn mower in his hand, and dish-towel in hers. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more. But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away ... never to return. So .... While we have it .... it's best we love it ... And care for it .... And fix it when it's broken ... And heal it when it's sick.

This is true: For marriage .... Old cars ... Children with bad report cards ... Dogs and cats with bad hips ... Aging parents ... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it .... because we are worth it!
Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special ... so, we keep them close!

You say you will never forget where you were when
you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.
I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room
with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I
held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the
peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it
is OK..I am ready to go.'
I was with his wife when he called as she fed
breakfast to their children. I held her up as she
tried to understand his words and as she realized
he wasn't coming home that night.
I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a
woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been
knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said.
'Of course I will show you the way home - only
believe in Me now.'
I was at the base of the building with the Priest
ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He
heard my voice and answered.
I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,
with every prayer. I was with the crew as they
were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the
believers there, comforting and assuring them that their
faith has saved them.
I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan .
I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew
every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me
for the first time on the 86th floor.
Some sought Me with their last breath.
Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the
smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take
my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.
But, I was there.
I did not place you in the Tower that day. You
may not know why, but I do.. However, if you were
there in that explosive moment in time, would you have
reached for Me?
Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey
for you . But someday your journey will end. And I
will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may
be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are
'ready to go.'
I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.
God

When I was a little boy, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad.. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did
was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember
watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides – a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God.
Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in
your own."

"$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said
to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.
Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68," he said
cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50, yet a mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was
wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside.
I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a mile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my
mind. 'Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could
happen to anyone'!
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and
tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads
hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging
from my rearview mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say 'ginkgo biloba,' I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!
My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back
into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth
and black nail polish. All I could think was, 'What is the world coming to'? All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?"
At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my
vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security
benefits.
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a
young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff
like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.
I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.
Slowly another little ball of fur appeared this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.
In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.” The farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.
Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love.”
The world is full of people who just need someone who understands.

The words have true meaning...not funny but ohhh so true.
Lynn Shelnutt

Beauty tips for all of us: “For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others..."

Audrey Hepburn

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.
Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world..
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on a Mount.
But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyway, Jesus died for our sins, and then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Here are a few that I believe all Americans want.

• Limit Congress from serving more than two terms. That is all that presidents are allowed.
• Stop Congress from voting for their own raises. How did that ever get started?
• Stop paying for lawmakers' high-priced insurance premiums. After all, they are only part-time employees. They might pass some law changes on the insurance companies, if they had to find one.
• Stop paying lawmakers their full salary after serving just one term, or at retirement. We need to get rid of that pension plan; they've let other companies get rid of theirs. You were lucky to get 40 to 50 percent of your salary after working somewhere for 35 years, but they get 100 percent.
• Make Congress pay into the Social Security system. They make laws for it. If they spent some of their own money, they might be interested in making it solvent.
• Stop handing out aid to illegal aliens. If we did, then Medicaid and the food stamp program would have enough money to aid the aged and the poor.
• Secure our borders.
• Stop allowing babies born to illegal aliens in the United States automatic U.S. citizenship.
• Stop the abuse of our benevolent welfare system. We feed children free meals three times a day until they are 17. Churches give away good, clean clothes. Companies buy and donate school supplies. Emergency rooms provide health care at taxpayer expense and the food stamp program is buying food at home. What are parents doing for their children?
• Have a computer program that cross checks Social Security numbers with fingerprints to stop fraud on many fronts. Use it on voter registration, too.
• Stop bailing out mortgage companies and banks that give loans to people who cannot afford them.
• Stop companies from paying CEOs and other executives outrageous salaries and bonuses while doing away with workers' pensions.
• Stop all unnecessary spending so we will have the money for our nation's security, and to help needy  and elderly Americans.
• Stop permitting anyone to have a photo with their face covered on driver's licenses. Whoever wins the presidency will not be able to make these changes. Only members of Congress can do this, as they are the lawmakers. I don't believe Congress is interested in changing anything, do you?

Moby

I listened to your radio show on the way to school in the mornings in Braxton. Now I’m just a small town guy and will be to the day I die. After school I enlisted in the army and was stationed at Schofield Barracks Hi About a year after being there I was deployed to Iraq where I currently am a couple months in to my deployment. I always liked your small town soap box and when I heard that people back home were protesting the war to some of my family I shuddered and one of my buddies here found this poem I'm hoping you would put on the radio for some of them to hear.
It sure would mean a lot to my mother. I know she loves your radio show as well. If it only changes one person’s point of view, it would make me feel better

THE POEM

FOR ALL THE FREE PEOPLE THAT STILL PROTEST, YOU’RE WELCOME, WE PROTECT YOU AND YOU ARE PROTECTED BY THE BEST.
YOUR VOICE IS STRONG AND LOUD, BUT WHO WILL FIGHT FOR YOU?
NO ONE STANDING IN YOUR CROWD.

WE ARE YOUR FATHERS, BROTHERS, AND SONS, WEARING THE BOOTS AND CARRYING THE GUNS.
WE ARE THE ONES THAT LEAVE ALL WE OWN,
TO MAKE SURE YOUR FUTURE IS CARVED IN STONE.

WE ARE THE ONES WHO FIGHT AND DIE.
WE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SAVE THE WORLD, WELL AT LEAST WE TRY, WE WALKED THE PATHS TO WHERE WE ARE AT AND WE WANT NO CHOICE OTHER THAN THAT

SO WHEN YOU RALLY YOUR GROUP TO COMPLAIN, TAKE A LOOK IN THE BACK OF YOUR BRAIN.
IN ORDER FOR THAT FLAG YOU LOVE TO FLY,
WARS MUST BE FOUGHT AND YOUNG MEN MUST DIE.

WE CAME HERE TO FIGHT FOR THE ONES WE HOLD DEAR, IF THAT’S NOT RESPECTED, WE WOULD RATHER STAY HERE.
SO PLEASE STOP YELLING AND PUT DOWN YOUR SIGNS, AND PRAY FOR THOSE BEHIND ENEMY LINES.

WHEN THE CONFLICT IS OVER AND ALL IS WELL, BE THANKFUL THAT WE CHOSE TO GO THROUGH HELL.


keep me in your thoughts and prayers
SPC Hacker Anthony
57th Military Police Company