Moby In The Morning

Guilty with an explanation

2010-03-11T08:53:13-06:00

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation." The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story. "Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met with 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?' I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?' 'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door. 'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back..' Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men Extraordinaire, found me ... Half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.' 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?' And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps..." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said 'Case Dismissed!'

Holland's Hot Cracker

2010-03-10T17:41:49-06:00

I know that there are a lot of people that don't feel that Taylor Swift is necessarily deserving of her rapid stardom, or that she is not a vocalist or some people just don?t like her music?and I will be the first to say that is perfectly fine because that is why there are hundreds of artists, so you can chose who you like. I guess I am different. I find the good in all artists, all people for that matter, but as far as for Taylor Swift?In 2007, my son and I were honored to meet her. He calls her his ?HOT CRACKERJ? Taylor and my son have had a very special bond from that moment. Taylor has one of the most passionate loving hearts in this entire world, God honestly shines through her and for a anyone, much less someone her age, that is saying a lot?Taylor, her parents, and everyone at her record label that has ever come in contact with him have always made him feel like a star..and why that means so much?on Christmas Eve 1999, my son was born with Down Syndrome and we were told that he would not live through the night?that makes you see life through different eyes! and she of all people treated him like somebody. If we knew half the love he knew?WOW what a world this would be! So the next time you want to think something bad about Taylor Swift, don?t think bad thoughts, just think about the smile that is on Holland?s face and the love that is in his heartJ WE LOVE YOU HOT CRACKERJ Dear Holland & Tara, First let me tell you both that I'm very familiar with the story of my trip to Holland, and want you to both know that I get it, and thank God that in his wisdom he put the two of you together. Thank you so much for showing me a side of Taylor Swift, I might have never otherwise known. I've always said her value system was beyond reproach, but this puts her in an angelic glow I've never known she deserves. Thank you for including me in this story, and since you gave it the subject you did, you can bet the story will make my show soon. God bless Holland, his mama, & God bless Holland's Hot Cracker, Taylor Swift. Yeah baby, MOBY

Colt Ford Blog

2010-03-09T08:43:47-06:00

Hey Ya'll I hope everyone is doing good out their. I was out this weekend in Okeechobee, FL. Man we had more Fun than the Law would allow. It was Country Folks, Big Trucks and a bunch of Mudd. All that being said after the show a Guy came up to Me at the Merchandise Booth where I was Taking Pictures and Signing Autographs. He looked like a Regular Ol Country Boy like Me. It was still Loud and He was Trying to tell Me something. I got up where I could Hear what He was saying. What He said nearly tore Me up. He said Colt ?I drove a ways to get to see You. I have Cancer and the Doctor says I got 2 months to Live. He said all I wanted to do was see You 1 time before I Died.? I had to catch My breath. I am looking Eye to Eye at a Man that is My age and looked in good health and He has a few months to Live. I shook His Hand with a firm grip and told Him I would be Thinking about Him and Praying for Him. I don't know that I will ever get over that. I can't Believe that seeing Me was that Important to Him. I tell You 1 thing for all You Artist that don't get out and Meet Your Fans and Shake their Hands and find out about their Lives, You ain't Worth a DAMN! I will Never take My Fans for Granted. I will always be Thankful and Grateful for all the Love and Support ya'll give Me. The stories I Hear about My Music and what it means to someone is what makes My World Go Round. I have been given Gifts from Fan's that I will Cherish My whole Life, but the Best stuff is not a Gift You hold but the Talks and the Hand Shakes and Hugs all the Kind Words. That is in My Mind and My Heart and will never be misplaced or Forgotten. To My new Friend I Met on Saturday Night. I Pray that Your last Day's are spent with Your Family and Friends and the Folks that Love You the Most. I want You know You Touched My Life and I am Damn Proud to have Met You and Shook Your hand. I will see You on the other side My Friend. Make sure You tell Your Family and Friends how much You Love them. We are not Promised Tomorrow make everyday count ya'll. Keep Praying for Our Country and all the Soldiers that are Fighting for Our Freedom. I Love Ya'll, Colt

Unrepaid

2010-03-08T00:00:00-06:00

I'm Not Saying I Believe In war; I'm Not Saying That I Don't. For Some Opinions, I Will Share Publicly And Some, I simply Won't Though I Will Say It Doesn't Matter, How Your Own Point Is Viewed, It Shouldn't Stop You From Expressing Your Everlasting Gratitude. To The Men And Women In Uniform Who Do What They Do For You Risking Life And Limb Each Day For Those They Never New. Politics Full Of Quandaries And Truths In Disguise; Be Ye Republican Or Democrat Please, Please Realize That While We Have Different Views Regarding Freedom's Crusade, We Can't Let The Debt We Owe Our Heroes. Thus Go Un-Repaid.

A Mother's Dash

2010-03-04T08:58:09-06:00

http://amothersdash.com/

Harrell Family

2010-03-02T08:47:17-06:00

Dear Moby: -- Hope you will welcome home my son SPC Chris Harrell, HHC 108th Calvary Calhoun, Ga. arrived Ft. Stewart 1 March 0430 from Afghanistan. Also send off my grandson PFC Taylor Dowdy 10th Mtn. Division, leaves for Afghanistan 3 March for his one year deployment. Sent in by 1SG Luke Harrell, Command Sgt. Major, 1stBn1stBde. Currently serving with the Georgia State Defense Force, Rome, Ga. -- Phone: 7062667821 Sincerely, Luke Harrell Rome, Ga 1SG Harrell, Enjoyed talking with you just now. I'll marry your email with this comment in the morning, and use them for the Small Town Soap Box at 0725 & 0935. ?That, my friends, is 3 generations of the very finest America has to offer. God bless & protect them all. The souls of our founders are smiling and shouting from those heavenly shores at the fact such men still exist within the borders of these United States. And these same men stand prepared to die for God, family, & country. It?s an honor to be included in the celebration of your son's return, and a privilege to keep watch emotionally at your family's side until God brings your grandson safely home. May our young men and women, sworn to protect and defend all we hold dear, know that the worthwhile citizens they represent abroad, hold in our hearts a love and respect for them they may never fully understand. Please let them know we?ll enthusiastically & unceasingly support those that not only come back wounded, but especially those with wounds the eye can?t see. Help them feel the support they may not even know exists from border to border, and coast to coast. Know this, 1SG Harrell, America is a better and stronger country with the Harrell family in its numbers. May God richly bless each of you, your families that also serve by standing watch for your return, and all like-minded patriotic families, cut from the same cloth. The good guys will win, The righteous will prevail, and the turbulent waters we find ourselves in will calm because of the bravery of you, 1SG, the Harrells in general, and our United States military."

What I've Learned

2010-03-01T10:00:04-06:00

To all of you.... What I?ve Learned.. sent it by Glenna Reed I've learned ... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned .... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned ... That just one person saying to me, ?You've made my day!? makes my day. I've learned ... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned ..... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. I've learned ... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned ... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult. I've learned ... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I've learned ... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.. I've learned .... That money doesn't buy class. I've learned .... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I've learned ... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am. I've learned.. That life is tough, but I'm tougher. I've learned ... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away. I've learned ... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Retarded Grandparents

2010-02-24T00:00:00-06:00

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS (this was actually reported by a teacher) After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore! They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts! Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Difference Between Conservatives and Liberals

2010-02-23T08:41:36-06:00

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. If a liberal, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection. If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him. If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down. If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!) If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his. If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

A Flag In Need

2010-02-19T11:03:52-06:00

Mr. Moby, I want to say first of all that I'm a die hard American patriot and I've served with pride for the past 8 years in the Navy Reserves as a corpsman, the past three of those years has been with a USMC unit as their, "Doc". So with that said I want to confess something that I did a couple days ago, I'm doing this not because I got caught but to raise awareness to the fact that even us patriots can become complacent in our love for this great land and it's symbols of freedom. On Monday as I was heading to work listening to you on the radio I passed a little country church with a cemetery out to the side of it. On a utility pole @ the end of the driveway the church members had two American flags secured in brackets which had torn loose in the strong winds we had that morning. One of these flags had turned upside down and was starting to drag the ground. My first thought was to remove it from the bracket, properly wrap it around it's pole and find a place at the church to leave it so that someone would find it and even leave a note to let them know why it was taken down. Well needless to say I did none of these things. I was running a few minutes late for work and had a lot to do that day, so I drove on in hopes that someone would come along and take care of the flag. After I got to work, right on time, I had this nagging feeling that I should have been the one to stop. It was too late then I was at work and couldn't leave. Then I thought about a man named John Bradley, a Navy Corpsman like me attached to a Marine unit, who was in the battle for Iwo Jima in WWII. He was on Mt Suribachi when the U.S. flag was raised, as a matter of fact he's one of the men in the one of the most famous pictures of WWII, he was helping to raise that flag. I bet he'd have taken the time to take care of the flag that I and many others passed that morning. I can assure you that I'll never pass another," flag in need", without stopping to take care of that need. Whether it's in this great country or some other, I'll make sure that the,? Stars and Stripes" are treated and cared for properly. Not only the flag but all that she represents and I'll do my part to make sure that all, who want to live under her shadow and have the freedom to live their lives the way they choose, will be able to do so. May we always be,? One nation, under God. Mr. Moby thank you for all you've done and continue to do for those of us in uniform. You keep doing what you do, and me and those like me will make sure that you have the freedom to do it. YEAH BABY! Sincerely, RR P.S. If you should read this on the air I'd like to remain anonymous. Thanks.

Passing of Common Sense

2010-02-18T08:44:11-06:00

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Thank You Soldiers

2010-02-17T09:03:27-06:00

When I lay my head down every night, & go to sleep in peace,
I can stay there knowing all is well,
While you’re standing on your feet.

Keeping watch, protecting shore to shore,
In the air & oceans, too,
Defending freedom at all cost,
For the red, White and the Blue.

Thank you, oh thank you,
Men & women brave and strong.
To those who served so gallantly,
We sing this grateful song.

To the soldiers who have traveled on
To countries far & near.
In peace & war, you paid the price,
For the cause you hold so dear.

That we may wake each morning bright
And know that freedom rings,
Because of your great sacrifice,
Your country joins to sing.

Thank you oh thank you,
Men & women brave and strong.
To those who served so gallantly,
We sing this grateful song.
Thank you oh thank you,
Men and women brave and strong.
To those who served so gallantly,
We sing this grateful song.

Mr. Michael Souders, Tussing Elementary School music teacher, A song to honor soldiers and veterans performed by hos 3rd Grade class.

Ducks Quack And Eagles Soar

2010-02-16T08:41:53-06:00

No one can make you serve customers well....that's because great service is a choice.
Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved
this point.
He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up,
the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver..
While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission
statement.'
Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and
cheapest way possible in a friendly environment....
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of
coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf...' My friend said
jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I 'll take a Diet Coke.'
Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today..'
As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated
card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'
And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air
conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.
Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that
time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell
him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with
his own thoughts... 'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's
only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent
most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do.
Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.
He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It.
Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day,
you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining!
Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an
eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really
talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers.. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were
unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'
'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.
'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my
income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it..
You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My
customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'
I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you...The ball is in our hands!
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans...

Prince Of Fools

2010-02-15T00:00:00-06:00

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the presidency. It will be easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.

“The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails us. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.

“The republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."

-- Author Unknown

Fred Maslack

2010-02-12T08:43:56-06:00

Finally....A Sensible Gun Registration That Will Work
Vermont State Rep. Fred Maslack has read the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, as well as Vermont 's own Constitution very carefully, and his strict interpretation of these documents is popping some eyeballs in New England and elsewhere. Maslack recently proposed a bill to register "non-gun-owners" and require them to pay a $500 fee to the state. Thus Vermont would become the first state to require a permit for the luxury of going about unarmed and assess a fee of $500 for the privilege of not owning a gun. Maslack read the "militia" phrase of the Second Amendment as not only affirming the right of the individual citizen to bear arms, but as a clear mandate to do so. He believes that universal gun ownership was advocated by the Framers of the Constitution as an antidote to a "monopoly of force" by the government as well as criminals Vermont 's constitution states explicitly that "the people have a right to bear arms for the defense of themselves and the State" and those persons who are "conscientiously scrupulous of bearing arms" shall be required to "pay such equivalent." Clearly, says Maslack, Vermonters have a constitutional obligation to arm themselves, so that they are capable of responding to "any situation that may arise." Under the bill, adults who choose not to own a firearm would be required to register with the state. "There is a legitimate government interest in knowing who is not prepared to defend the state should they be asked to do so," Maslack says Vermont already boasts a high rate of gun ownership along with the least restrictive laws of any state .. it's currently the only state that allows a citizen to carry a concealed firearm without a permit. This combination of plenty of guns and few laws regulating them has resulted in a crime rate that is the third lowest in the nation.
Rep. Maslack is no longer in Vermont’s state house. This was a bill he sponsored in 2000 that got no where, but it makes more sense to me than any proposal to require me to register my weapons.

God Is Too Busy

2010-02-11T08:44:36-06:00

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq & Afghanistan . One of the courses he had a professor who was an avowed atheist & a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by & the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting.' It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor & cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked & stunned & sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?' The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting American soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff & act like an idiot. So, He sent me.' The classroom erupted in cheers! In God & the American soldier We Trust

Homemade Brownies

2010-02-10T17:06:58-06:00

Two teenagers asked their father if they could go the theater to watch a movie that all their friends had seen. After reading some reviews about the movie on the Internet, he denied their request. "Aw dad, why not?" they complained. "It's rated PG-13, and we're both older than thirteen!" Dad replied: "Because that movie contains nudity and portrays immorality as being normal and acceptable behavior. "But dad, those are just very small parts of the movie! That's what our friends who've seen it have told us. The movie is two hours long and those scenes are just a few minutes of the total film! It's based on a true story and good triumphs over evil, and there are other redeeming themes like courage and self-sacrifice. Even the movie review web sites say that!" "My answer is 'no,' and that is my final answer. You are welcome to stay home tonight, invite some of your friends over, and watch one of the good videos we have in our home collection. But you will not go and watch that film. End of discussion." The teenagers walked into the family room and slumped down on the couch. As they sulked, they were surprised to hear the sounds of their Dad preparing something in the kitchen. They soon recognized the wonderful aroma of brownies baking in the oven, and one of the teenagers said to the other, "Dad must be feeling guilty, and now he's going to try to make it up to us with some fresh brownies. Maybe we can soften him with lots of praise when he brings them out to us and persuade him to let us go to that movie after all." The teens were not disappointed. Soon their father appeared with a plate of warm brownies, which he offered to his kids. They each took one. Then their father said, "Before you eat, I want to tell you something: I love you both so much. "The teenagers smiled at each other with knowing glances. Dad was softening. "That is why I've made these brownies with the very best ingredients. I've made them from scratch. Most of the ingredients are even organic. The best organic flour. The best free-range eggs. The best organic sugar. Premium Vanilla and chocolate." The brownies looked mouthwatering, and the teens began to become a little impatient with their dad's long speech. "But I want to be perfectly honest with you. There is one ingredient I added that is not usually found in brownies. I got that ingredient from our own back yard. But you needn't worry, because I only added the tiniest bit of that ingredient to your brownies. The amount of the portion is practically insignificant. So go ahead, take a bite and let me know what you think." "Dad, would you mind telling us what that mystery ingredient is before we eat?" "Why? The portion I added was so small. Just a teaspoonful. You won't even taste it." "Come on, dad; just tell us what the ingredient is. "Don't worry! It is organic, just like the other ingredients." "Dad!" "Well, OK, if you insist. That secret ingredient is fresh organic....dog poop." Both teens instantly dropped their brownies back on the plate and began inspecting their fingers with horror. "DAD! Why did you do that? You've tortured us by making us smell those brownies cooking for the last half hour, and now you tell us that you added dog poop! We can't eat these brownies!" "Why not? The amount of dog poop is very small compared to the rest of the ingredients. It won't hurt you. It's been cooked right along with the other ingredients. You won't even taste it. It has the same consistency as the brownies. Go ahead and eat!" "No, Dad....NEVER!" "And that is the same reason I won't allow you to go watch that movie. You won't tolerate a little dog poop in your brownies, so why should you tolerate a little immorality in your movies?

Harry Truman

2010-02-09T08:41:34-06:00

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House. The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri. His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there. When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.. After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them. When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale." Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise." As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food. Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale. (remember the Illinois Senate seat? ) Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference! I say dig him up and clone him!!

SCI Banquet Prayer

2010-02-08T00:00:00-06:00

Heavenly Father, creator of unbelievable splendor of all the great outdoors, as well as the tiniest spark of emotion in our hearts, we ask your gracious blessings on our gathering here tonight. We ask that you recognize us as stewards of your abundant earthly gifts. Realize, Father, that we humbly acknowledge the awesome responsibility you present us to care for your world, making certain that our children & grandchildren will inherit that passed on to us by our fathers & grandfathers, and made better for our having passed through. As we gather tonight as brothers and sisters, and pledge the support and friendship of our fellow sportsmen, we ask that you allow our light to shine as an inviting beacon to all those of like-mind to come and enjoy the warmth of a campfire, the celebration of the harvest, and the raising of a glass. We?ll never forget that you?re at every campfire, and only through your holy blessings will our tireless efforts be rewarded. Be with each sportsman here this evening and go with each of us as we leave. Please, assist us in our efforts. Keep us safe, focus our aim, steady our hands, calm our nerves, and guide our shots. In your most holy name?Amen

President's Dream Speech

2010-02-05T08:44:30-06:00

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq & Afghanistan. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of this war THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Mess with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany, and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this.. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not tickin’ us off for a change..
Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world is history. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget..
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America .. Thank you and good night. "

Does Your Campground Have A BC?

2010-02-04T08:42:04-06:00

The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again and rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC. "Does the campground have it's own BC?" is what she actually wrote. Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him.
After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about he local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply Dear Madam:
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous. Even the normal delivery sounds can be heard.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats.
I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.
If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, this is a friendly community. Sincerely,
Campground Owner

Uncle Sam's Plantation

2010-02-03T08:43:07-06:00

Six years ago, I wrote a book called "Uncle Sam's Plantation." I wrote the book to tell my own story of what I saw living inside the welfare state and my own transformation out of it. I said in that book that indeed there are two Americas. A poor America on socialism and a wealthy America on capitalism. I talked about government programs like Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), Job Opportunities and Basic Skills Training (JOBS), Emergency Assistance to Needy Families with Children (EANF), Section 8 Housing and Food Stamps. A vast sea of perhaps well-intentioned government programs, all initially set into motion in the 1960s, that were going to lift the nation's poor out of poverty. A benevolent Uncle Sam welcomed mostly poor black Americans onto the government plantation. Those who accepted the invitation switched mindsets from "How do I take care of myself?" to "What do I have to do to stay on the plantation?" Instead of solving economic problems, government welfare socialism created monstrous moral and spiritual problems -- the kind of problems that are inevitable when individuals turn responsibility for their lives over to others. The legacy of American socialism is our blighted inner cities, dysfunctional inner city schools and broken black families. Through God's grace, I found my way out. It was then that I understood what freedom meant and how great this country is. I had the privilege of working on welfare reform in 1996, passed by a Republican Congress and signed into law by a Democrat president. A few years after enactment, welfare roles were down 50 percent. I thought we were on the road to moving socialism out of our poor black communities and replacing it with wealth-producing American capitalism. But, incredibly, we are going in the opposite direction. Instead of poor America on socialism becoming more like rich American on capitalism, rich America on capitalism is becoming like poor America on socialism. Uncle Sam has welcomed our banks onto the plantation and they have said, "Thank you, Suh." Now, instead of thinking about what creative things need to be done to serve customers, they are thinking about what they have to tell Massah in order to get their cash. There is some kind of irony that this is all happening under our first black president on the 200th anniversary of the birthday of Abraham Lincoln. Worse, socialism seems to be the element of our new young president. And maybe even more troubling, our corporate executives seem happy to move onto the plantation. In an op-ed on the opinion page of the Washington Post, Mr. Obama is clear that the goal of his trillion dollar spending plan is much more than short-term economic stimulus. "This plan is more than a prescription for short-term spending -- it's a strategy for America's long-term growth and opportunity in areas such as renewable energy, health care and education." Perhaps more incredibly, Mr. Obama seems to think that government taking over an economy is a new idea. Or that massive growth in government can take place "with unprecedented transparency and accountability." Yes, sir, we heard it from Jimmy Carter when he created the Department of Energy, the Synfuels Corporation and the Department of Education. Or how about the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964 -- The War on Poverty -- which, President Johnson said, "... does not merely expand old programs or improve what is already being done. It charts a new course. It strikes at the causes, not just the consequences of poverty." Trillions of dollars later, black poverty is the same. But black families are not, with triple the incidence of single-parent homes and out of wedlock births. It's not complicated. Americans can accept Barack Obama's invitation to move onto the plantation. Or they can choose personal responsibility and freedom. Does anyone really need to think about what the choice should be?

Law of The Garbage Truck

2010-02-02T08:39:07-06:00

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of
the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital! ' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck.”
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it
and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

I Don't Care--Willie Nelson Story

2010-02-01T09:09:32-06:00

This is a unique Soap Box, because it?s a story of me not even trying to do what a listener, and radio cousin asked me to do, and that ain?t like me at all, but listen. Friday night, I MCed a Willie Nelson concert. This was the 3rd Willie show I?ve been on stage for in the last several weeks. In all those shows, I?ve been able to stand next to Willie, and smile for a quick picture one time. I was with him, maybe 5 seconds. Then at another show he walked by me as he was walking out on stage, and I said ?Evenin?, Willie!? and he turned around, smiled and said ?Hi?. Those two events are the grand total of my Willie exposure while MCing three separate shows. Last Thursday night, Willie was in the Carolina?s, and his tour ran afoul of the law (for marijuana?go figure), and he canceled that show. So, Friday, he wasn?t having squat to do with anybody. Everyone backstage knew that Willie was still in a bad mood. I was talkin? with his son and opening act, Lukas before the show started. Very nice & talented kid. 21 years old, and so darned good on stage. He filled me in on the previous night?s happenings. It was very obvious, and for that matter understandable that Willie was in no mood for anything else other than show & go. Kevin Daniels and I took the stage, and made some announcements, and introed Lukas, Then back on stage between sets to get the crowd ready for Willie. Willie came on, Lukas stayed on stage and played the entire set with his dad, and it was over. Really good show. I think everybody got their money?s worth. All the players went directly to the busses, not to be seen again . I was there with Mary Beth & three other friends. We walked out the back door by the busses into the wind, cold, and rain. A lady there stopped me. She was holding a red bandana that she told me had been signed by Willie at a show in ?01. She wanted me to get Willie to sign it for her again that night. I told her that I had no way to get that done for her. She told me that she knew I did, and insisted that I get it done for her. I told her Willie wasn?t going to come out and do anything for anyone, and that I was sorry but ?No? I couldn?t do it. Well, nothing was gonna make her happy other than I take that bandana, or I think better yet, take her and that bandana on the bus, and have Willie sign it for her. ?Maam, I?m sorry, but I can?t make it happen.? ?Yes, you can!? ?No, I can not. I?m sorry.? ?I know you can!!? It was cold, & windy, it was raining, temperatures were falling, a freeze was predicted, I was an hour from home, the folks I was with (including my wife) were standing by my vehicle in the rain, & I had the keys in my pocket. And this woman would not let me go. Finally I said, ?Maam, I don?t care if you get that signed or not.? She looked stunned, and said, ?You don?t care? You don?t CARE?? ?Maam, please!!? ?I will quote you. You don?t care? ?Maam, I?m sorry.? ?I will quote you. You don?t care.? I turned and walked away. At that time, in that situation, I really couldn?t have cared less. I could still hear her raising the devil as I walked away and got my friends and family out of the terrible weather. So, in case that woman is going through this day quoting that rude Moby from Friday night after the Willie Nelson show, & and telling anyone that will listen how rude I was to not get her bandana autographed for her, at least you know the entire story. And in case that woman might be listening right now, maam, we went through the back door of the bus, and partied with Willie for hours. Really we didn?t, but that lady seemed to think that was what I was gonna do. I do hope you got home safely, maam.

Dinner Plans

2010-01-29T08:43:23-06:00

A group of 40-year-old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Gasthaus Gutenberger restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.
10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because that would be a great idea since they'd never been there before.

I hate so badly I can relate to this. But it’s this morning’s Small Town Soap Box

Pennsylvania Biker Ralley

2010-01-28T08:42:38-06:00

Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural PAN>Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.
"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activists, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
"They duct taped me to a tree!"
"I.. I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. and, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.'
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.
"That's preposterous, " said on high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness."
When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters,' the organizer declined to comment in detail.
"That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.

SC Lt. Governer Welfare

2010-01-27T08:41:36-06:00

SC politician's welfare comments called `immoral' SEANNA ADCOX, Associated Press Writer (edited) COLUMBIA, S.C. – When things looked their darkest for Gov. Mark Sanford — when he was in danger of being impeached for running off to Argentina to see his mistress — his best insurance policy may well have been South Carolina's lieutenant governor, Andre Bauer. Lawmakers knew if they removed Sanford, they would end up with Bauer, a fiercely ambitious Republican with a reputation for reckless and immature behavior. Now Bauer has folks shaking their heads again, after he likened government assistance to the poor to feeding stray animals. At a town hall meeting Thursday, Bauer, who is running for governor in his own right now that Sanford is term-limited, said: "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that." Democrats and others railed at him. "I am disgusted by these comments." said state Sen. Vincent Sheheen, a Democrat who is also running for governor. "His comments were immoral and out of line." South Carolina schools Superintendent Jim Rex, another Democratic candidate for governor, called Bauer's comments "reprehensible" and said he should apologize. Bauer said Monday that he regrets his choice of words but that government should expect welfare recipients to try to better themselves. He wants to require them to take drug tests and attend parent-teacher conferences if they have children in school. "Do I wish I'd used a different metaphor? Of course I do," the 40-year-old said. "I didn't intend to offend anyone." Bauer has long been a love-him-or-hate-him figure in South Carolina politics. A nonstop campaigner and self-described workaholic, he was the youngest elected lieutenant governor in the country when he first won the in 2002 at age 33. Bauer almost ascended to the top office last summer, after Sanford disappeared from the state for five days to be with his mistress. But the Legislature stopped short of impeachment. At least three other Republicans and five Democrats have said they are running for governor. Neal Thigpen, a political scientist at Francis Marion University, said Bauer tends to speak so fast and enthusiastically ("It's almost like a Gatling gun") that he sometimes "gets his mouth in place quicker than his head." But as for the June Republican primary, "don't count him out. The kid's got a fanatical following," Thigpen said. "They're going to forgive him almost anything and stick to him like glue." Winthrop University political scientist Scott Huffmon said Bauer's overall message about government dependency and personal responsibility will appeal to his evangelical Republican base.

Senior Discount

2010-01-26T08:44:53-06:00

$5.37, That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet?" A mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads
hanging from my rearview mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?"
At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

P.S. Save the earth.. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Two and Two are Five? Sounds Alright to Me??

2010-01-25T08:40:43-06:00

OK…let’s see if this makes any sense…a number of states in this land of ours have lowered their standards for students to qualify for graduation from high school. The folks running our schools have adopted the attitude that school is ‘just too hard’ on many students and if strengthened would result in the failure of many students to make the transition from high school to college. Say what? Listen to this quote by one of these school officials who is trying to defend their policy: “In 2008, state officials in Alabama , Arizona and Washington delayed the start of the exit exam requirement and lowered standards after seeing that many students, including a disproportionate number of minorities, would fail the tests. Many states have faced lawsuits over the proposed requirements amid accusations that the tests are unfair to students with disabilities, non-native speakers of English and students attending schools with fewer educational resources.” So, the new method of coping with a problem such as this is to lower the testing standards so as not to embarrass the poor student and perhaps cause a blow to his or her self esteem. To me that makes as much sense as it does to chop your hand off because you have a hangnail. You solved the problem but at what cost? If anyone thinks the schools in this country are equal and fair, they have another think coming. They aren’t. But we all know this and yet nothing gets done about it. Those who can afford to send their children to private schools are doing so at a steadily growing rate. Private schools currently educate 11% of all of our students from kindergarten through high school. This figure is expected to grow in spite of the fact that sending children to private schools is not only more expensive but still requires the property owner to pay school taxes for services not being utilized. In spite of billions of dollars being poured into the school systems around the country, test scores and educational levels are on the decline. In 2005 (last time I could find data) the United States ranked ninth in the world among industrialized nations with adults in the 25 to 34 year range who had high school diplomas. Twenty years earlier we were ranked as number one. Of course even if we consider the ownership of a diploma as a milestone for our young citizens, if there isn’t basic education behind it to support the diploma, what good is it for use in worldwide economic competition? It may be alright for us to wink, wink, nudge, nudge and allow little Johnnie to believe that 2+2=5, but the kids growing up in China and India know that the correct answer is 4. We may not wish embarrass the poor darlings because they haven’t mastered the basics by the time they get to the 12th grade, but are we really doing them a favor by tossing them out into the world where it will be almost impossible for them to obtain any real employment that doesn’t include the phrase… ‘would you like fries with that?’ It isn’t the fault of the child. Perhaps in some cases the student refuses or is unable to learn, but it is the failure of the school systems that are not doing their jobs by utilizing better resources for each student to ensure that they understand what is expected of them when they are passed along into the real world. In my mind this becomes an issue of national security, the education of our young Americans is what will keep this nation strong and competitive. Shouldn’t our tax dollars go towards better facilities and more qualified and yes, dedicated teachers than on wasteful programs to measure the sexual habits of the Titmouse or other nonsense programs?. We as a country spent almost a trillion dollars on education in 2009, twenty years earlier the cost was closer to 280 billion. So we have tripled the budget and amount spent over the past 20 years with the result that our educational levels have dropped. Throwing more money at a situation without having a clear definition of what the result should be is shear madness or runaway government.

Soldier's Wife

2010-01-22T00:00:00-06:00

Ronda Roaderick…..Proud Wife of Sgt. Frank Roaderick U.S. ARMY
the 1/108th is coming home in March, and I’m going to be there if my schedule allows.
She sent me today’s Small Town Soap Box

I never wore the uniform,
no medals on my chest.
The band it doesn't play for me,
I am not among the Best.
I do not march in cadence,
I do not rate salute,
I stand among the silent ranks,
our devotion absolute.

If you've not worn my shoes,
you do not know my story.
I live a life of sacrifice,
my reward a private glory.
I've wept many silent nights away,
and I've kept the home fires burning.
I've worried and I've waited,
as world events were churning.

I've moved more times than you could fathom,
left more people than you've known.
I've planted gardens round the world --
Very few that I've seen grown.
I've grieved with new-made widows,
and had my share of scares --
when a ship or plane or man was down,
and all I had were prayers.

I'm not asking for your sympathy,
(although appreciation can be nice)
I did it quite on purpose though --
I chose to sacrifice.
I'll tell you a secret now,
one you'd never guess.
About the one glory that is mine,
it's just enough, no more, no less.

When you and I stand together
as our national anthem plays,
I'll fill with reminiscences
of how I spent those days.
I'll know the pain and joys again,
I'll know that freedom isn't free,
I'll know I've helped to pay the price
and that the anthem plays for me.

God bless the dedicated spouses of the American military